Here it is. Warnings: My opinion lies ahead. You may not like it. Also! Much swearing.
So I picked up this book by Lt. Col. Dave Grossman entitled On Killing a little while ago. I picked it up because I was encountering a lot of people who were assuming two things that I was not sure I could assume about myself. The first was that in a pinch one will kill a fellow human being and the second was that as long as the killing is justified, one need never feel remorse.
Both those myths have been roundly dismissed. I am not sure that, in a panic situation I would be able to (i) comprehend the magnitude of what was happening or (ii) chose to kill another human being. Nor do I for an instant imagine I could live without remorse.
In martial arts we talk a lot about Samurai. Maybe it’s only my class, but I suspect it’s not. Samurai spirit comes up a lot, a notion that on the battlefield, a samurai would rather die of exhaustion and injury than surrender, precisely the sort of spirit that saw mass suicides among Japanese troops at the end of world war II. The samurai are held up as ideal warriors, men to emulate. Maybe it seems flippant and weird for me to talk about all the ways in which I am not a samurai. It’s not my intention to be disrespectful to anyone, teacher or warrior or both, and I don’t intend to denigrate anyone. What I want to do is talk about how the world has changed since the samurai were wearing their swords and topknots, and discuss some myths about fighting, training and what the hell we’re all doing when we go out in our pajamas to punch the air on Wednesday night.
Let’s start by talking about all the ways in which I am not a samurai.
1. I’m female.
I read a quote… somewhere… that goes like this: At the core, men are afraid women will laugh at them. At the core, women are afraid men will kill them.
That is it, for me anyway, in a nutshell. I worry that other women are judging me, and I worry that the dude who is slowly driving by when I’m walking to work is going to cause a possibly fatal problem for me. My worries are not the worries of my male counterparts.
We all worry for our physical safety, but there’s a profound difference between worrying about getting too drunk to get home and having to take a cab and worrying about someone putting something in your drink and getting you into a cab.
If karate is training for self defense, we need to teach about more than wrist locks and striking surfaces. We need to talk about environmental awareness and understanding the stages of violent behaviour, for example. We need to talk about insidious violence, violence from loved ones, because women are more likely to be killed by their spouses than strangers. We need to teach to women.
If we want karate to be for everyone, we must change the way we teach it so we actually pass the knowledge on to our students. To do this, we need teachers who are not afraid to expand the curriculum so that male students can see what female students think about and deal with, and so we can pass vital, non-martial skills to our students. After all, isn’t that why we’re there?
2. My status will not enhanced by killing someone, or, to put it another way, if I fail to kill someone in combat, I’m not in danger of losing the respect of my peers or command of my people.
In fact, if I kill someone, I’m going to have some ’splainin to do. Ours is not a culture that accepts violence as a necessary part of everyday life, nor does it expect violence to maintain social order. Saying “a violent act is the last resort” doesn’t adequately deal with this. We need teachers who are educated in the law, or have access to people who are adequately trained in the law who can tell karate students what society expects of them.
When high ranking people in the dojo give terrible advice about subjects in which they are not qualified (do I really need to spell this out?) it does a discredit to the dojo. No one in perfect, no one can have all the information, Sensei is probably not a lawyer or judge (though there’s no reason he or she can’t be – natch) and probably hasn’t read the latest case law on self defense.
The way to remedy bad information is to bring in people who have access to the information. It’s better for everyone if the correct information is what’s being disseminated.
3. There is no powerful social or philosophical unity in our culture, and my own morality is fluid and ambiguous, so making moral judgments is tricky.
In the absence of a powerful social philosophy (like the rigid ranking system of Edo era Japan) or an overarching moral or social code of behaviour, deciding when is an appropriate time to bust some shit out and when one should step back is far from obvious.
The knot of teens bunching up around you when you walk through them? Are they trouble or moving to their own tide? What about the guy who insists on helping you to the door? How the fuck are you supposed to know?
Training students to believe they will know instinctively when they must fight for their lives is decidedly unhelpful. Violence happens in stages and when a violent action does take place, it can be unreal. Knowing the stages can prepare the body to act when the mind can’t keep up.
Many people won’t be able to process the event until it’s over. Lots won’t even be able to process the event as “real”. Plenty won’t act, and wish they had, or will act and wish they hadn’t.
When we’re ostensibly teaching people how to kill, discussing moral ambiguity, and uncertainty is kind of important. We can’t and probably don’t want a rigid social structure like Edo era Japan (or, more properly, Meiji militarized Japan), so we probably shouldn’t teach as if we live in one.
By the way: Not addressing this won’t make it go away.
Now let’s talk about talking in the dojo.
The thing I’ve been hearing a lot, and it’s something that’s bothered me increasingly, is “if it gets to that point…” or “and then you have one option…” or “then you have to stop messing around and…”
And what? And kill someone.
Let’s talk about this. Let’s talk about how, in WWII, only 15% of trained soldiers actually killed anyone on the battlefield. Let’s talk about how animals will almost never kill another of their own species. Let’s talk about how sociopaths who have no moral compass by their nature have the advantage on those of us who are mentally healthy.
Killing, I’m led to understand, is a pretty fucking repulsive act, and most humans will do just about anything to avoid it, including die first. Can we talk about that? Please? Because I didn’t know till yesterday. Till yesterday, I thought you’d pick your life over someone else’s. Not 85% or more of us.
And while we’re talking, let’s talk about how the law feels about it when you “stop messing around” and stick your thumb in someone’s eye and pull some brain matter out. And let’s talk about if you could actually do that. Feel the warmth and hear the screams and deal with the hands pounding on your face and someone’s voice screaming stop! stop!
Because you know something? I couldn’t. I’m not prepared for it. I’m not trained for it. The fact is, after ten years in the dojo, if anyone dies in an altercation, it’ll be either me or an accident and maybe both. If there has been an altercation, that’ll be me, waaaay over there, running the other way.
Let’s talk about running, how dangerous it is to turn your back to an assailant. And let’s talk about when you don’t run, you stop messing around and someone bleeds out their life all over your shoes and socks.
Let’s talk about what it’s like to talk to the family of the person who’s neck you broke, or eye you gouged out. Let’s talk about worrying about their friends coming after you. Let’s talk about fucking gangs, ok? Let’s not pretend we, and crime, and violence and killing people happens in a god damned vacuum. Let’s stop pretending we’re the fucking smaurai and there’s a ban on black powder weapons. Let’s talk about combat.
And now, I want to ask some serious questions about what we’re doing when we go to karate class.
When we put on our PJs and go down to the dojo, what are we doing? We’re going into a quasi-military environment to… I was going to say “play at being tough” but you know what, the environment serves to make the dojo a cohesive unit, and it serves to push us harder than we could push ourselves, and we’re not playing. I have seen some remarkable things in the dojo. So that’s too flippant. Maybe I should say, We’re going into a quasi-military environment to do quasi-military things.
The thing about the military is it doesn’t just have the grunts drill (tear paper, pour in the powder, bullet, tamp), the grunts learn other shit too. They learn shit unconnected to fighting. They learn team work and leadership and learn when to go back and get someone and learn when to leave someone. They learn their bodies can take more than they ever imagined and that their minds are fragile. Strategy, tactics, situational awareness, they learn all this. And the officers learn a whole helluvalot more.
If we’re in karate for fitness, grand. Change nothing. Maybe bump up the cardio. If we’re in karate for a social life, excellent. Let’s have a night at the pub and a Christmas social. If we’re in karate for self defense, I think we need to make a few changes.
We could start by taking a look at our quasi-military environment. The ranks, the lines, the shouting “Osu!”. Quasi. Military. That’s fine, just as long as we aknowledge that world and karate and the people taking it have changed a lot since Gichin Funakoshi brought Shotokan into the schools of militarized Japan.
Karate’s got women in it, for one thing. It’s being trained all over the world by people with no fixed social structure, for another. And people aren’t quite as willing to kill or maim as we thought they were. Nor is it quite so OK to disembowel someone who didn’t push his face into the tatami so hard there was a bas-relief on his forehead.
So there need to be some changes made to teach karate for self defense effectively because the class over that the gym? Down at the YMCA? At the university? Probably not providing 100% of the training you’re going to need in a pinch. Maybe that training comes later, after shodan. In that case could we maybe stop advertising “self defense” classes? Please? Because we’re being (some of us anyway) big fat frauds when we do.
Look, I don’t know what I want from karate. I don’t know why I love karate, or what I get out of it. I just know I want it to be worthwhile; I didn’t take morris dancing, I took a god damned martial art. I want to learn to defend myself. And I’m not a fucking samurai.
Martial arts are plagued with people who either think that the style should be exactly as it’s always been and never change or that too much has changed since and would never work.
I totally agree on the subject of killing. I think that classes need to stop even suggesting it, since a class setting can never feel the same as a life and death situation, and (hopefully) most people wouldn’t be so quick to do what they say.
Interesting stats on WWII. If the soldiers could get by, I think a mugging victim should be able to get by without taking a life.
The trouble is, I think, that people who are predisposed to harm other people might be part of the two percent for whom killing is easy. And, my understanding of muggins in particular (which is to say, what I’ve heard from dudes I’ve talked to and not scientific or research-based at all) are that muggings where people end up dead tend to be muggings where something went awry (I imagine it’s easier to stab a dude and take his money, than take his money and then try to stab him. Maybe both count as a mugging. No idea, really).
*pft. Muggins. I meant muggings. Muggins sounds way to cute.
Oh my – so much to say and I’m at work!
Please excuse the point form.
“the second was that as long as the killing is justified, one need never feel remorse.”
I would say one need not but it doesn’t follow that one will not.
“Nor do I for an instant imagine I could live without remorse.” Likewise – but the tenor of my remorse would vary with circumstance. If someone had to be killed, I would feel compassion for them being such a mess that they would put me in that circumstance, remorse for their family but if there’s no way out, I’m not sure what I would feel about them. If that makes sense.
“I read a quote… somewhere… that goes like this: At the core, men are afraid women will laugh at them. At the core, women are afraid men will kill them.” Good quote. That sums up what I think most men – even the best ones – can’t ever really understand.
“If karate is training for self defense, we need to teach about more than wrist locks and striking surfaces.” Yep.
“We need to talk about insidious violence, violence from loved ones, because women are more likely to be killed by their spouses than strangers.” Double yep – and hope that our classes strengthen them rather than tearing them down or making them hard.
“If we want karate to be for everyone, we must change the way we teach it so we actually pass the knowledge on to our students.”This is why I have yet ot find a martial home, I think. Because at the core they’re all paternalistic and about guy stuff and that doesn’t work for (many) women.
Many men, even the best ones, unwittingly buy into the “boys club” aspect of the dojo or kwoon which, no matter how much they think you’ve been included, leaves those of us with innies rather than outies feeling out in the cold. The reality is regardless of socialization, I am not going to be able to take down most men muscle to muscle – so find a way I can and teach me that. That’s what I loved about aikido. If there was a huge discrepancy you’d still be hooped but with some good training against someone of similar size you do have a chance.
“so we can pass vital, non-martial skills to our students.” These are martial skills though.
“Ours is not a culture that accepts violence as a necessary part of everyday life, nor does it expect violence to maintain social order.”
This is where we diverge. I think our society is a very violence based culture- but it’s insidious. We say it’s a last resort but look at the pop culture that revolves around successful violence – movies, games etc. Our problem is that while we embrace it because we’re not as evolved as we like to think, the part of us that’s more intellectual rejects it, horrified and the lazy part of us that can’t be bothered to learn the skills also rejects it. This means it seeps into our culture through those less honest and direct ways making it (like lots of the -isms, these days), difficult to name and pinpoint.
“When high ranking people in the dojo give terrible advice about subjects in which they are not qualified (do I really need to spell this out?) it does a discredit to the dojo.” OMG yes. And even better, when they say the correct things but act like a spoiled 13 yo, thus modeling that for their students.
“The way to remedy bad information is to bring in people who have access to the information. It’s better for everyone if the correct information is what’s being disseminated.” But then you have to admit you don’t know something that could be seen as directly in “you sphere”. I have met few senseis or sifus who would be comfortable with that.
” deciding when is an appropriate time to bust some shit out and when one should step back is far from obvious.” So true. And how to go about it. Also, without the structure there’s more risk – what will the response be? I think that people can get to carried away with the past and traditions but we’ve lost a lot of honour as a society which makes tricky situations even more tricky. There’s just no rules.
“Training students to believe they will know instinctively when they must fight for their lives is decidedly unhelpful.”
This is a biggie for me – although for different reasons than you have articulated. Having some experience of a variety of martial arts I can say rare is the student who has had good life experiences. By and large the martial arts – a bit like D&D seem to attract a subculture that has, if nothing else, often experienced bullying or other power over situations that has coloured them. Some use that history for good but many, although they would like to be benevolent or believe they are, have not yet transcended (for lack of a better word) that history and so re-enact it. The structure of martial training allows you to start as the oppressed and work your way up to the oppressor (a bit like politics, nay?). Unless part of the growth includes dealing with the issues that brought you to that training, you’re going to re-enact everything you know. Hello – we don’t need to die to experience karma/reincarnation.
Oh yes – and people with those backgrounds tend to have a propensity to misread situations, not regulate emotions well etc. Often, I’ve noticed, martial training teaches you how to stifle those thoughts and feelings but that’s no way to deal with them. There’s lots of talk about letting go and lots of jargon but when the sensei/sifu isn’t modeling that mastery but models something very different, how will the students learn?
“Plenty won’t act, and wish they had, or will act and wish they hadn’t.” But that’s why we focus so much on muscle memory training – so we can add that to misreading situations and wonder why we end up in fights so often even though we’re feeling all peaceful.
“We can’t and probably don’t want a rigid social structure like Edo era Japan (or, more properly, Meiji militarized Japan), so we probably shouldn’t teach as if we live in one.” Totally- although some of the other parts of it – dress and furnishings – might be nice. The trouble is that many of our teachers are stuck there and do want that life back because they’re at the top and it would (they think) work well for them. So they try for that but it doesn’t fit.
“And what? And kill someone.” That’s testosterone talking – and yes, women have it too. The trouble is – it will so rarely get to that point that it doesn’t merit thinking about. At least not as much as how to keep it from getting to that point. What I find fascinating is that conversation rushes to get there – it’s not an hour spent on “how to avoid getting in those situations” – it’s an hour spent on “how to f* someone up when you’re in it”. Um… how many of the senseis/sifus aren’t having the other conversation with their students because a) they’re not sure themselves and b) they kinda wanna check out their skills? I’d wager most of them. Now I know the argument -that you’re there for martial training – will come up. Yes, you are, but martial is more than just fi-ting.
“that’ll be me, waaaay over there, running the other way.” Me too.
“Let’s talk about running, how dangerous it is to turn your back to an assailant. And let’s talk about when you don’t run, you stop messing around and someone bleeds out their life all over your shoes and socks.” Let’s talk about the serious lack of cardio training at nearly every martial arts school. Even the ones I’ve been to that are heavier cardio (like Kempo) have nothing on the reality of pursuit.
“Let’s stop pretending we’re the fucking smaurai and there’s a ban on black powder weapons. Let’s talk about combat.” That’s the crux of it. I’m a fan of the Indy method. Someone whips out a sword, if I can’t run. I’ll take a gun. Thanks.
“The thing about the military is it doesn’t just have the grunts drill (tear paper, pour in the powder, bullet, tamp), the grunts learn other shit too. They learn shit unconnected to fighting. They learn team work and leadership and learn when to go back and get someone and learn when to leave someone. They learn their bodies can take more than they ever imagined and that their minds are fragile. Strategy, tactics, situational awareness, they learn all this. And the officers learn a whole helluvalot more.” True – and that’s often the most important part and what keeps them alive. You have to continue for the unit even when you would give up by yourself.
“In that case could we maybe stop advertising “self defense” classes? Please? Because we’re being (some of us anyway) big fat frauds when we do.” And now you come to what bothers me most. Self defense classes. I know lots of people who do this as their bread and butter. Teach out of shape people to “defend” themselves against an attacker. Only one training I have ever been to (I used to end up having to go for work) ever really got into verbal judo. It was more about confidence, how you hold yourself, how you speak and how you talk than having the moves. For most people, the moves won’t last beyond the confines of the room. Even if you’re in top mental and physical shape when you take the class you haven’t spent enough time with the techniques to consolidate the knowledge in you, making it useful when fear shuts your brain down.
“Look, I don’t know what I want from karate. I don’t know why I love karate, or what I get out of it.” You do though -you just answered your own question. Don’t want anything out of it, -just love it. What else is there?
Back to work.
Holy crap! This is great! lot’s to think about!
“This is where we diverge. I think our society is a very violence based culture- but it’s insidious. We say it’s a last resort but look at the pop culture that revolves around successful violence – movies, games etc.”
I think you and the Lt Col might be thinking along the same lines. I’m not convinced movies etc act as a sort of Saturnalia for us, but I don’t know if the science backs it up. Shall have to do some reading.
“Plenty won’t act, and wish they had, or will act and wish they hadn’t.” But that’s why we focus so much on muscle memory training – so we can add that to misreading situations and wonder why we end up in fights so often even though we’re feeling all peaceful.”
Interesting. Forever ago Pavlov showed that dogs (and people) do as they’re trained to do and after WWII, SLA Marshall showed that the vast majority of soldiers would not kill, even in battle. So the army changed the training and now 85% do shoot to kill. I guess the question is, how good is the training? Of course it’ll depend on the sensei and the dojo. If you’re used to enacting mugging situations, I guess you might do better than someone who has only faced a static partner.
And then, no one ever talks about regret. God how I regret the scrap I had in Korea. It was stupid. People could have been hurt. Imagine if I’d killed the bastard, or he me. No one prepared me for this. I had to learn it was normal to feel regret ten years after the fact. This could certainly come into the curriculum.
“Let’s talk about the serious lack of cardio training at nearly every martial arts school. Even the ones I’ve been to that are heavier cardio (like Kempo) have nothing on the reality of pursuit.”
Oh, too true! I couldn’t believe how hard it was for me to start running. I was like, yeah, I’m in karate, I’m pretty fit. Yeah, I have strong legs from kicking. I don’t use those muscles so much for running. It was a-gone-eeee.
“It was more about confidence, how you hold yourself, how you speak and how you talk than having the moves…”
Yep! Some teachers have latched on to this. Shihan Corrigal, for one, used to say “Best way to win a fight is not to be there when it happens”.
“Plenty won’t act, and wish they had, or will act and wish they hadn’t.” But that’s why we focus so much on muscle memory training – so we can add that to misreading situations and wonder why we end up in fights so often even though we’re feeling all peaceful.”
Interesting. Forever ago Pavlov showed that dogs (and people) do as they’re trained to do and after WWII, SLA Marshall showed that the vast majority of soldiers would not kill, even in battle. So the army changed the training and now 85% do shoot to kill. I guess the question is, how good is the training? Of course it’ll depend on the sensei and the dojo. If you’re used to enacting mugging situations, I guess you might do better than someone who has only faced a static partner.”
I so did not make my point.
The point is – you don’t need muscle memory if you learn not to get into dangerous situations to begin with. If you learn to shut your mouth, be confident but not cocky and get your way out of jams, you’re less likely to get into trouble.
As far as Pavlov -he showed that dogs do what they’re trained but not that the training can necessarily be generalized. Ask #3 about firearms training and the guy who dropped his clip. All of the target practice in the world didn’t help when the chips were down.
Gotta get back to work.
Oh, you might have made your point and I missed it, as I’m reading without me specs today.
Well, not that I can truly understand, but I do understand. Especially when you’re speed reading and you miss a key word (that’s a personal favourite).
I wish some one would talk to the dojos about the law of self defence.
I remember hearing, way back in the old hometown, that it’s better to kill an assailant than to maim him, because then he can’t sue you for disability support for the remainder of his days. We never heard the second part, which was – maybe so, but his family can sue you for wrongful death and then there’s that whole murder charge you’d have to deal with. In short, we heard the bullshit and we swallowed it because the person stating it was a shihan who ought to have known better.
Students who are learning how to apply potentially lethal force need to know that the law doesn’t like individuals fighting unless they have no choice. That’s actually the test – the threat must be immediate, NOW, not “he might hurt me later” and there can’t be any options. If you could have run away and you didn’t, you’re now legally culpable for the damage you have done. Along with that the force you use must be proportional to the threat you reasonably perceive: can’t kill some one just ’cause you think they might give you a black eye, even IF you’re cornered, even IF he’s coming at you this instant. The law doesn’t require you to “weigh to a nicety” the appropriate response, but it has to be reasonable, it has to be proportional.
Students also need to know that their training means the law will expect more of them. More restraint, better judgment, and a cool head in the midst of a fight.
Most of us are never going to be in a position where it’s literally a matter of life or death. One of my cynical views regarding some students of dojos is they sometimes seek out (or at least cease to actively avoid) situations where this type of thing is likely to come up. “Oh, I’m a brown belt, I can handle anything down this dark alley” – this is stupid, moronic thinking that gets somebody hurt. Maybe not you. But maybe you next time.
/rant
disclaimer: based on a very narrow experience with one very macho dojo, back in the day
“Students also need to know that their training means the law will expect more of them. More restraint, better judgment, and a cool head in the midst of a fight.”
Good lord. This makes perfect sense but is not something that had ever occurred to me.
I really think that all MA teachers need to have their first aid, a teacher-training class, and a (basic, yes, but still) course in what the law expects in terms of self defense. There must be something…
`One of my cynical views regarding some students of dojos is they sometimes seek out (or at least cease to actively avoid) situations where this type of thing is likely to come up.`
Double ditto on that one. I see that so often it`s nauseating.
I have a hunch you see it on two fronts… but maybe I’m wrong.