I was pretty hard on a coworker today. He’s an Aikido ka*, who, he proudly told me, has logged twenty hours in the dojo. He is at the point where he’s learned some cool stuff, seen it work, and made it work and now is under the mistaken impression that (i) he knows Aikido and (ii) only he knows Aikido.
I was rude to him, very rude. I looked at him and said, “Dude, you need to practice more.”
It’s the first time I’ve ever been rude to protect someone. I wanted badly to deflate him (I don’t think it worked – partly because I sucked at wrist locks too) because it’s at this point in training when one typically ends up getting one’s ass handed to one. I happen to like this kid. I don’t want to see him get into trouble. Which is exactly what’s going to happen if he tries to do a wrist lock on someone who grabs his shirt.
I was going to go explain myself and apologize when I heard him say he thought the wrist lock didn’t work because out co-worker (who was the guinea pig) was too big a guy. Hah. I’m sure O sensei never had to worry about fighting a guy who was bigger than him. Here’s a novel idea: If a technique doesn’t work, practice it more.
I am going to apologize to him. I think I should explain to him that it would be very easy for me to do significant damage to him while he was looking at the position of his feet, just as it would be easy for my seniors to kick the shit out of me, if they so chose. I think I should explain that in the dojo you know who’s a higher rank because they’re in hakama, but if Sensei comes into the shop, he’ll probably be wearing jeans and a t-shirt. You never know who’s in karate, or aikido, or who likes to brawl. Or who’s got a knife or a gun. I want to tell him that it’s better not to fuck around with fighting.
*Let me make something perfectly clear: I have mad respect for Aikido. I know that this guy isn’t representative of Aikido ka. He is, I think, representative of a state that everyone goes through when they start taking a martial art.
I don’t think it’s rude to be honest with someone (to a point). It’s very true that the first few months of a martial artist’s career can be dangerous. I remember my mentality when I had my orange to green belts… Humility needs to be one of the first things we learn.
I was (woe to me) more rude than honest, I’m afraid.
I agree with you about humility. There’s a saying I once heard, which is “When a nail stands up, you hammer it back down.” I used to think humility was something one did out of respect for other people (ie, sure, I whip that kick out, but my seniors are way faster…”) now I think it might protect one from oneself…
BTW: You, sir, have a tremendously cool site. *is off to examine*
Why thank you! I’ve been procrastinating, but I plan on adding a load of new content this week.
Dear Sis,
First – kudos on the mea culpa. Yep, an apology is a good idea. We’ve all done shit like that and it wasn’t for any of us to do.
I assure you – his Sensei and senior students will make sure he’s very aware of his shortcomings. He’ll get cocky in the class – you can always see it – and then one of them will give him a gentle enough lesson. And he’ll know.
It’s hard not to do it, I know. And you think you’re protecting him – he just thinks you’re a bzatch who doesn’t know *his* MA. Better to let him figure it out than trying to own his edumaction.
I’m sure you’re right. I have to overcome my own ego and just let things be. After all, someone did that (and probably still does it) for me.
And always will – in a good school.